We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
