either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
