GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize