i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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