We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
