Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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