dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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