My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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