now i know why i became what i already was.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
