Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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