if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
