So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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