super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
