I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
