So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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