I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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