Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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