If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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