Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize