i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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