I wish I could punch you in the face.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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