Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
