Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.