the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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