Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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