Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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