I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
