yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
