This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Help. Why am I so naked?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
