who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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