I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
