also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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