Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize