I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
