You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize