well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
