best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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