I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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