i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
