2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
