my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
