what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
