Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
