I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
