Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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