I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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