drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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