I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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