I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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