Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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