I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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