I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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