If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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