he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
