A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize