You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
