yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
