Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
