Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
