I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
