Screwed.edu
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Pants are for mortals
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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