just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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