Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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